A real receive charge kinda guy

As I was walking in toting my giant laptop manbag a few minutes ago I said to myself, "Gosh, I sure hope no one thinks I just arrived at work." Of course I had just arrived at work, but I did hope that no one thought so. You see, I was working from home today, but thought better of continuing to do so when I saw that I have a call scheduled with my boss a little later (more on that even sooner).

You won't be hearing any complaints from me this fine day. In fact, I've been on cloud nine ever since my wife agreed this past weekend to let me be in charge. The king, as it were. That's right, I am head honcho of the household until such time as she sees fit to take control back. And she says she won't do that unless I really mess something up.

I've been using the Powerball on the delightful trip in to the office. I do five minutes per hand per direction, for a total of 20 minutes:

5 mins (left hand clockwise)

5 mins (right hand counter-clockwise)

5 mins (left hand counter-clockwise)

5 mins (right hand clockwise)

The regimen makes much more sense than it probably seems when you actually perform it. While I wholeheartedly recommend using the ball-o-Power, I should warn you that I can't be certain that that's not just because misery loves company. Sure, my grip is rock-crushing, but there're just so many rock-to-sand-to-glass contests you can win before you become a bit disillusioned with the whole game. And I'm talking the goofy game we call life here.

Yes, it is especially miserable at the top.

I have that call with my boss in like 10 seconds during which he's to walk me through inputting my receipts into the expense tracking system. This oughta be great since he's such a funlover. Be with you soon-ish...


Whaddya know - I didn't have a good time at all. Despite his tendency to laugh at his jokes and his jokes only and his insistence on asking all questions accusatorily, he's just not much fun to be around.

Did you know that, even if you counted one every second for 24 hours a day, it would take 32 years to count a trillion statistics that convey the magnitude of large numbers?

Don't forget what entomologist Harry Mills tried in vain to teach earthworms: "The real message isn't what you say, but what the other earthworm remembers." I say this concept could be quite useful to humans with a bit of pencil-whipping. Heck, even I could have it reworked and ready to be applied to domesticated animals in less than a day.

I know what you're thinking. And you're right - my capacity to find patterns and analogies where others see only absurdity is quite uncanny.

And indeed some entomologists do study earthworms. It would seem that the 1.3 million species of insects just wasn't enough for 'em. Or maybe they finished the bugs and moved on.

Now go to your room. What? Well, if your mother said so, then I guess it's okay for you to play video games instead. I mean, I'd hate to mess something up and force her to rescind the supreme authority she conferred upon me.